if so, how do you know?
and when?
and how much?
and who?
do you have to create a being to know?
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
We are everywhere
I've spent my free time this first part of 2010 listening to hours of conversation with women in the Bay area, Louisville, KY, Woodland Hills, Ca and up in Seattle, captured on my H2 zoomer, this past fall. Over 20 hours of dialog covering a range of topics around the subject of not having children - from our own mother messages, to when and how we knew this wasn't going to be our path, to what we are doing with our innate desire and need to be creative and share our love. I've whittled the content down to just under 2 hours and will have to half that again if I'm going to produce an hour long program for radio. Ultimately I want women who might feel isolated or alone on this path to be inspired by the richness of insight, to taste the appreciation of freedom these women have, and be supported by the undeniable camaraderie which so naturally presents itself in these circles.
I'm so grateful for the ways women (and some men) have already shown up for this project and the honesty and revealing and listening they have so generously shared. Over one hundred women have expressed interest in being interviewed and while I won't be able to speak with everyone, I do still want to hear from more women who are over 50 years old and were ambivalent about becoming a mother, or may have struggled with the outcome, (vs having always known she didn't want to have kids), and is now on the "other side" and content. I also may need a grant, or a grant writer, to help fund the final production which will likely require more technical skills than I have. I send great gratitude and appreciation to Kiz, who is teaching me about final cut express which enabled me to do the work I've been able to do so far.
I'm excited to pitch a 5-6 minute teaser of the program to This American Life sometime this spring and feel tremendous excitement and joy when I visualize sending this ripple out into the world. We are so lucky to be able to choose whether or not we want to procreate and it is so important to be conscious about that, either way.
Thank you everybody!!
I'm so grateful for the ways women (and some men) have already shown up for this project and the honesty and revealing and listening they have so generously shared. Over one hundred women have expressed interest in being interviewed and while I won't be able to speak with everyone, I do still want to hear from more women who are over 50 years old and were ambivalent about becoming a mother, or may have struggled with the outcome, (vs having always known she didn't want to have kids), and is now on the "other side" and content. I also may need a grant, or a grant writer, to help fund the final production which will likely require more technical skills than I have. I send great gratitude and appreciation to Kiz, who is teaching me about final cut express which enabled me to do the work I've been able to do so far.
I'm excited to pitch a 5-6 minute teaser of the program to This American Life sometime this spring and feel tremendous excitement and joy when I visualize sending this ripple out into the world. We are so lucky to be able to choose whether or not we want to procreate and it is so important to be conscious about that, either way.
Thank you everybody!!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
circle time in seattle
The invitation to participate in this conversation keeps reaching farther out and in to women's hearts across the country. Right before Thanksgiving I sent an invitation to participate through Threshold Choir (thanks to Kate Munger) and heard back from about 40 women in response - from Ann Arbor, MI to British Columbia, Canada. I'm so encouraged by this phenomenon and my belief in the need for and benefits of this project grows with every contact and every circle. Speaking of which ...
Thank you Seattle AND many many thanks to you Melina for hosting!! I was immediately reminded of what a gift it is to give our full presence and listen to each other - this has been true everywhere, but especially so in Seattle. With a majority of the women in her 40s, we covered a span of almost 30 years (ages 36-62) and several countries of origin: S. Africa, Italy and Mexico, in addition to several different states in the US. One stand out for me in Seattle, was that these women had very clear ideas about how they are finding fulfillment in life and channeling their nurturing and love. Several work directly with women who are or want to be mothers; offering counsel and therapy to those who have lost babies, photographing women who are pregnant, coaching parents, or helping mothers reclaim their bodies and selves after giving birth and raising children by offering yoga retreats and personal practices. There was also a lot of interest in this topic from men, including partners of these women, and I was reminded again how this is as profound an inquiry and life determining decision for them too! It is a parenting issue as much as a mothering issue, and the generation just behind me, seems to be more open to the idea of not procreating and much less programed to think this is what we must do as women/people.
Thank you Seattle AND many many thanks to you Melina for hosting!! I was immediately reminded of what a gift it is to give our full presence and listen to each other - this has been true everywhere, but especially so in Seattle. With a majority of the women in her 40s, we covered a span of almost 30 years (ages 36-62) and several countries of origin: S. Africa, Italy and Mexico, in addition to several different states in the US. One stand out for me in Seattle, was that these women had very clear ideas about how they are finding fulfillment in life and channeling their nurturing and love. Several work directly with women who are or want to be mothers; offering counsel and therapy to those who have lost babies, photographing women who are pregnant, coaching parents, or helping mothers reclaim their bodies and selves after giving birth and raising children by offering yoga retreats and personal practices. There was also a lot of interest in this topic from men, including partners of these women, and I was reminded again how this is as profound an inquiry and life determining decision for them too! It is a parenting issue as much as a mothering issue, and the generation just behind me, seems to be more open to the idea of not procreating and much less programed to think this is what we must do as women/people.
Upon listening to everyone's stories I began to see more connections between all the circles and the themes/chapters for the ultimate collection started to emerge. Now it is time for me to pour through the hours of content I've been gathering over the last few months and bring your voices together into an inviting, uplifting, and enriching audio program. I'll be spending January focused on this, in addition to my other work helping protect wetlands in the SF Bay Area, and will post progress reports as I go. Come February, I may need to augment what I've got in some follow up one-on-one interviews, and/or host another circle or two.
I'm excited and challenged by the work ahead, and look forward to the process of listening, learning, extracting and piecing this into a final product that is of benefit to many. May that ripple continue to extend out to all beings everywhere. May you find peace in the holidays ahead and creatively define what they mean to you and those you love.
with gratitude
Caroline
Thursday, November 5, 2009
LA - or make that Woodland Hills - Ahhhhhh! thank you
OH my
Enough to Love (ETL) just gets better every time we gather. The circle on October 29 was INCREDIBLE! Thank you dear ones down south - you expanded the reach of dialog and fine tuned the inquiry. What amazing women you are - how inspiring and insightful and present and wise. I left beaming with affirmation and deeply touched by your authenticity, your confidence, your presence and your journeys. I love how you've prioritized the love you feel for your partners, how you've healed the wounds of your past and refused to perpetuate the cycle of pain, how you are raising consciousness in the lives of people you know and touch, and how you've boldly and uniquely moved in the direction of your dreams.
When I ask what it is you are doing with your love, if not giving it to a child you birth, you helped guide me in a more honest direction. Certainly I don't mean to imply that as women, we must give our love to something if not a child we bear. Yet, there is an energy we all have that longs to create and love ... to find meaning and use ... and it IS important to know what is happening to that, and to help give it expression. It isn't some obligation to be giving because we are women, but rather a necessity for our own fulfillment and satisfaction and well being. As a friend of mine said recently - "what do you need to believe to know that you are you." You all are leaders on the path of self acceptance and understanding. Because of you. I became more awake to the freshness of this opportunity, how new this choice, as a woman to procreate or not, and what a truly pioneering approach to being a woman on the planet it is.
I am so grateful to you and the ripple of support and empowerment you are sending out to and through me.
THANK you
NEXT STOP: Seattle - December 13
the journey continues ... the garden is never finished
Caroline
November 5, 2009
Enough to Love (ETL) just gets better every time we gather. The circle on October 29 was INCREDIBLE! Thank you dear ones down south - you expanded the reach of dialog and fine tuned the inquiry. What amazing women you are - how inspiring and insightful and present and wise. I left beaming with affirmation and deeply touched by your authenticity, your confidence, your presence and your journeys. I love how you've prioritized the love you feel for your partners, how you've healed the wounds of your past and refused to perpetuate the cycle of pain, how you are raising consciousness in the lives of people you know and touch, and how you've boldly and uniquely moved in the direction of your dreams.
When I ask what it is you are doing with your love, if not giving it to a child you birth, you helped guide me in a more honest direction. Certainly I don't mean to imply that as women, we must give our love to something if not a child we bear. Yet, there is an energy we all have that longs to create and love ... to find meaning and use ... and it IS important to know what is happening to that, and to help give it expression. It isn't some obligation to be giving because we are women, but rather a necessity for our own fulfillment and satisfaction and well being. As a friend of mine said recently - "what do you need to believe to know that you are you." You all are leaders on the path of self acceptance and understanding. Because of you. I became more awake to the freshness of this opportunity, how new this choice, as a woman to procreate or not, and what a truly pioneering approach to being a woman on the planet it is.
I am so grateful to you and the ripple of support and empowerment you are sending out to and through me.
THANK you
NEXT STOP: Seattle - December 13
the journey continues ... the garden is never finished
Caroline
November 5, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
OCTOBER 3 in LOUISVILLE WAS FABULOUS
The women were open, honest, tender, brave, revealing and authentic. There are themes emerging around this topic, like the pressure women feel to have kids, especially from their own mothers, and the responses they get when they tell people they aren't going to, don't want to or can't. The reasons women aren't or don't vary, but a greater number of them than I expected have always known they didn't want to be a mom. As someone who was more of an on the fencer, and certainly someone most people always thought would because I have such a strong connection to kids, this has surprised me. Most notable of all, there has been a palpable contentment in these women's disposition, and a true ease in connection - me with them, and they with each other, even though in every circle some women have been meeting for the first time. They have been fun to be around and interesting to talk to and so consistently available and present! I definitely got some quotable material in Louisville and look forward to hearing from the women in LA on OCTOBER 29.
Thank you Valerie for hosting in Kentucky!
Thank you Patricia for welcoming me and gathering a big group in Southern California.
Santa Cruz, Seattle and possibly one other are on the horizon. Then, next stop ... This American Life! I feel it! Email me if you want me to come to your neighborhood. I'm in search of a grant now to help fund this.
stay tuned ...
Caroline
The women were open, honest, tender, brave, revealing and authentic. There are themes emerging around this topic, like the pressure women feel to have kids, especially from their own mothers, and the responses they get when they tell people they aren't going to, don't want to or can't. The reasons women aren't or don't vary, but a greater number of them than I expected have always known they didn't want to be a mom. As someone who was more of an on the fencer, and certainly someone most people always thought would because I have such a strong connection to kids, this has surprised me. Most notable of all, there has been a palpable contentment in these women's disposition, and a true ease in connection - me with them, and they with each other, even though in every circle some women have been meeting for the first time. They have been fun to be around and interesting to talk to and so consistently available and present! I definitely got some quotable material in Louisville and look forward to hearing from the women in LA on OCTOBER 29.
Thank you Valerie for hosting in Kentucky!
Thank you Patricia for welcoming me and gathering a big group in Southern California.
Santa Cruz, Seattle and possibly one other are on the horizon. Then, next stop ... This American Life! I feel it! Email me if you want me to come to your neighborhood. I'm in search of a grant now to help fund this.
stay tuned ...
Caroline
Thursday, September 10, 2009
September 8th circle
The September 8 circle at my home in Marin was held in honor of my best friend Heather who is visiting the states from her life and home, now in New Zealand. Unlike me she has always known she didn't want to have children and as it became more apparent and likely that I wouldn't, I found great comfort in being so close to someone who has such a strong and positive view about it. She is one of the most beautiful, nourishing, sensual and giving souls I've ever known and inspires me with her life as a farmer on a 750 acre piece of land she has birthed into a biodynamic farm over the last 13 years.
There were 6 of us on Tuesday - a really nice number fostering intimacy and still offering diversity. We ranged in age from early 40s to mid 60s, and in reflection from still open to having children to happily without. The sharing was honest, the stories diverse and we all left with the mind activated and newly inspired.
I am so grateful for this sharing and camaraderie and support. I feel so clear and free! I am a candle for this path and it feels good and right. Thank you beautiful women.
Caroline
There were 6 of us on Tuesday - a really nice number fostering intimacy and still offering diversity. We ranged in age from early 40s to mid 60s, and in reflection from still open to having children to happily without. The sharing was honest, the stories diverse and we all left with the mind activated and newly inspired.
I am so grateful for this sharing and camaraderie and support. I feel so clear and free! I am a candle for this path and it feels good and right. Thank you beautiful women.
Caroline
Monday, August 31, 2009
talking circles
I've got 5 evenings of conversation around the rich subject of being a fulfilled woman who is living a child-free life upcoming this fall and am working now on an audio program on the subject. The dates are - Sept 8 in the Bay area, Oct 3 in Louisville Kentucky, Oct 30 in LA, November 14 in Seattle and a Tahoe circle (t.b.d) ...
You are welcome to join if any of these dates and locations work for you. It is a juicy topic and very inspiring to be part of if you are needing some support, are on the fence, or have settled into this life path and want to share your story about how that is working out for you and filling you up.
Very exciting.
to be continued.
I welcome your story and thoughts on the subject.
Caroline
You are welcome to join if any of these dates and locations work for you. It is a juicy topic and very inspiring to be part of if you are needing some support, are on the fence, or have settled into this life path and want to share your story about how that is working out for you and filling you up.
Very exciting.
to be continued.
I welcome your story and thoughts on the subject.
Caroline
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